SAMANTHA Womack has revealed she went through agony filming the EastEnders cot death tragedy, saying: "It's been the most horrific four weeks of my life."
Fans will see her grief-stricken character Ronnie Branning find her newborn son James lifeless next week.
She will then secretly swap his body for Kat Moon's baby Tommy.
Mum-of-two Samantha, 38, said she has been haunted by the harrowing storyline for Ronnie, who has already lost her daughter Danielle and suffered a miscarriage.
She said: "I couldn't stop crying when we were filming the scenes where Ronnie finds her dead baby.
"I couldn't switch off when I returned home each day.
"What Ronnie has been through is such a crushingly awful thing to even pretend might happen to you. I actually felt ill having to portray it. We used an expensive silicone doll, and it was so lifelike it upset a lot of people on set. We had to stop and take a break because it was too much."
Sam admits she is worried how viewers will react to the grim storyline, which will be shown over New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. Describing the moment when Ronnie finds James dead, Sam said: "Ronnie desperately tries to warm him up.
"Then she staggers into the Square with him in her arms and bangs on her mum Glenda's door.
"Ronnie is totally rambling, so a lot of what you'll see on screen wasn't scripted. What really got to the other cast and crew was that Ronnie arrives at Glenda's flat and shouts, 'Mummy!'
"She's like a child as she tries to reach out to the mother who rejected her. She is raw, stripped of everything."
Talking about the shocking baby swap, Sam added: "The abduction comes from a place of complete confusion. She hears Tommy crying and can't separate truth from fiction."
Sam told Inside Soap magazine, out today: "I love EastEnders and the fans enjoy it because it's hardcore and bleak at times. But I also worry because this is such a traumatic storyline.
"New Year can be a difficult time for some people, so I really hope this is taken in the spirit in which it's intended - which is about producing dramatic television. I've watched the episode where James dies and it really is very powerful, with strong performances from everyone. Producers are happy with it - I just hope it doesn't upset viewers."
Sam said she doesn't know how Ronnie can ever recover emotionally.
She explained: "Ronnie is the most damaged character I've ever played - she never gets a break, does she? I have no idea what direction she'll be going in after this storyline is over."
Sam, who wed fellow actor Mark Womack last year, wasn't the only member of the cast affected by the plot. Shane Richie, who plays Alfie, said his wife Christie had to stop him repeatedly going to check on their daughter Lolita, two.
Dad-of-four Shane, 46, said: "Christie had to tell me to leave Lolita alone. She said, 'You keep going in to see her'. And she was right.
"I found myself prodding her to make sure she was all right. In all my years of playing Alfie, I've never brought my work home with me - but now I have."
TV Biz told yesterday how EastEnders boss Bryan Kirkwood had defended the cot death storyline.
He said: "We took great pains to make sure the rest of the episode showed a community with a lot of love.
"We see friendships, fun and festivities - and hope these counter the inevitable darkness of this story."
http://www.thesun.co...death-plot.html
I get the impression from this Sam is trying to say:
'please don't kick off the way you did after Danielle's death'
anyone else?
I hope her words are listened to however speaking of the 'Danielle's' they seem to have vanished into thin air which makes me wonder if they were ever fans of the show in the first place. I still can't believe the fuss that generated. While its great they were so involved they did go so OTT. I hope the same isn't going to happen here as it will take some of the focus off the amazing material on screen.


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